normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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