We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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