he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize