I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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