I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize