Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
