Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
