VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
