Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
