How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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