another moral hangover. fuck.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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