She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
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Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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