i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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