Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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