Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
