1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
