So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
