i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
