He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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