Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
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I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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