he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize