i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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