dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
