someone get that fucking seahorse.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
