Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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