I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize