It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
kristin has been a bad kristin
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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