I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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