can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
