hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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