Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
