dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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