Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
