You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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