I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
