he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
