Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
