Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
