Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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