my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
