Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
do nipples grow back?
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