I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
