Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
