If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
