I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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