i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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