I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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