I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
