I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
