I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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