Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
