You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
