I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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