the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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