Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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